Like when you send an intention for more peace and quiet in your life and the universe delivers cancer, with 6 months of quiet reflection horizontal in a hospital bed. Yeah, sure, that's what I wanted!  And so you make a careful deal with the Universe: ok, please deliver on all my wishes, and I'll let you figure out how to deliver, no matter how ridiculous, far-fetched, or off-course it seems at first.

Then you sit and wait with nervous, baited breath to see what kind of crazy solutions the idiot savant will come up with.  Or maybe you know the Universe as some sort of cheeky, prankster? Michael Dooley gives voice to this kind of Universe.

Here's a message I got from his Universe today: "Pretty much, in all battles of the heart over the mind, go with your heart. Because, truly, Zoe, it's a lot easier for your mind to catch up with your heart, than for your heart to catch up with your mind. A whole lot. The Universe P.S. Not that I don't love your mind, Zoe."  Dooley's Universe is fun, playful, wise. He cuts to the chase, while reminding you to have fun. Kind of nice, really. 

Or maybe your Universe guy is a lot more sinister, nasty, and apathetic? I met someone at the gym today who honestly believed that the Universe was rough, distant, and oblivious.

The Universe plays favourites, and she wasn't one of them. She would have to workout longer to get thin, work more hours to earn less money, and no matter what she did, Mr Right would forever turn out to be Mr So-So.  Her Universe Guy was some piece of work! 

Fact is, what you believe is what you get. If you believe your Universe Guy is a despot and a tyrant, that's exactly what you'll get: an Unpredictable, volatile life. 

If you believe your Universe Guy is a generous, creative, friendly and awesome dude forever manifesting cool things for you to enjoy and experience, then that's what you'll get too - a life of adventure, freedom, and delightful surprises. 

I know who I'm hanging out with!

Personal growth is hot. Diagnosis is not. That is one reason America has seen a boom in the number of people offering their services as "life coaches." These guides give clients the confidence to get unstuck — to change careers, repair relationships, or simply get their act together. They also raise some eyebrows because they work in a field that is virtually unregulated.

"We are not talking about being incompetent or weak. They are everyday, normal people who have their lives together. They realize the value of having somebody to help them think outside the box." — life coach Laura Berman Fortgang.  Life coaches are a new option for the worried well — those whose lives are only slightly askew. No longer do they need a diagnosis from a psychotherapist who delves into the painful past. Using the telephone or Internet, they can sign up with an upbeat life coach who becomes a partner in defining a better future.

Coaching is especially popular with men, who respond favorably to a term from sports, says coach Patrick Williams, whose Institute for Life Coach Training is based in Ft. Collins, Colo. "Seventy% of the caseload in therapy are women; 60% in coaching are men," he says.  "It is OK for a man to see a coach," says Martha Beck, a popular life coach who guests on The Oprah Winfrey Show and writes a column for O — The Oprah Magazine. "It is not OK for a man to see a therapist."

The latest trend is life coaching for teens, Williams says. He encourages therapists to take his training program and switch careers to life coaching. "We are training people to do family coaching, parent coaching, retirement coaching. There are a lot of specialty niches."  Some 10,000 coaches of various types are working in the USA alone, according to a review in the current Psychotherapy Networker, a magazine for professionals. Many have signed on in the last five years to what has become a flourishing — and unsupervised — industry that excites some trend watchers but deeply troubles others.

Although many coaches take extensive courses, many others are without credentials. Virtually anyone can declare himself a life coach, says David Fresco, a psychology professor at Kent State University, Kent, Ohio. "There are no qualifications, no unified approach to coaching, no oversight board. Basically they fly under the radar screen of any sort of oversight." And the virtues of what many offer are unproven, he says.   Many experts also worry that untrained coaches will not realize when they are dealing with someone who is truly troubled, someone who needs more than a "good lesson plan and an enthusiastic cheerleader," writes Psychotherapy Networker editor Richard Simon. "Coaches do not, nor do they intend to, meet us in the dark places where we're most desperate, lonely, enraged and fearful — home turf to most psychotherapists."

The need to recognize the wounded is one reason Williams encourages mental health experts to enter the field. A coach must be able to recognize when he is being asked to "step into the realm of therapy — or healing and uncovering — rather than the realm of discovering and creating." It must be clear therapy is not being offered.   Coaching began as a motivational tool for the corporate world. "It has been OK to have an executive coach for some time," says the Psychotherapy Networker's Jim Naughton.

The business concept was based on organizational research "with intellectual heft," he says. The practice has proliferated to become the equivalent of having a personal trainer, he says.   Life coaches focus on enhancing the lives of clients, often talking about balancing or "integrating" one's life, as Beck puts it.  They usually begin by asking extensive, specific questions and honing in on a precise set of goals. Homework may include writing in a journal, doing various exercises including building a "life blueprint," and reporting on progress with various "action plans."

There is no quick fix, Williams cautions. Coaching often takes place over the course of several months, often in half-hour, weekly sessions. Costs vary widely. Williams says some coaches charge $300 an hour, while others say charges are more typically $350 to $600 a month. Most insurance companies won't pick up the tab.   Life coaching is "action-oriented, solution-oriented, concentrates on forward motion," not looking at the past, says Laura Berman Fortgang, a life coach based in Montclair, N.J. and author of Living Your Best Life. Her clients, she says, "are smart, educated people who want to make radical changes," many of whom are now reassessing their goals following the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11.

"We are not talking about being incompetent or weak," Fortgang says. "They are everyday, normal people who have their lives together. They realize the value of having somebody to help them think outside the box."  Christina Sauers, 33, of Grand Haven, Mich., says Fortgang has helped her "make a leap of faith" to a different career. She is leaving her job in sales with an office furniture company to return to school, concentrating on "something in sports psychology." She plans to help local athletes, which will help her give "back to the community."

She feels, she says, "like I have more to offer. Laura has helped me tap into my own genius, what I am naturally good at. This is my life. It is not a dress rehearsal. I might as well be happy."  Another of Fortgang's clients is reassessing life after Sept. 11. She has been a coach herself but has decided to delve more deeply into the helping professions. "Laura helped me ask myself the questions I had been thwarting asking myself for 22 years," says Jennifer Van Zandt, 37, of Princeton, N.J. "She helped me listen to my calling." Van Zandt enters the seminary at Princeton University in about six weeks.

Many mental health professionals are debating whether to add life coaching to their services. They are drawn to the field in part because they don't have to deal with paperwork, insurance companies or managed care, Williams says. They don't have to "pretend something is wrong" with a client to satisfy an insurance company's demand for a diagnosis, he says.   Coaches can keep their full fee, Fresco adds. The field is sometimes touted by trainers who say coaches can make big bucks. "I am offended by the fact they have emphasized profitability over the efficacy of their profession," he says.

Williams says life coaching will "change the face of psychotherapy, helping people live a better life without the stigma of needing a diagnosis or a visit to a psychotherapist they don't want or need."  Others are much more skeptical on behalf of clients who may not know they need more than a quick fix, Naughton says. "Positive thinking can only take you so far."

Most people think physical fitness when they hear the word "coach," but life coaches are more like a personal trainer of attitude. They help their clients put together a step-by-step plan of action for achieving success -- in the workplace or in their personal life.  Coaching can help people create more satisfaction in their jobs, find new jobs, start new ventures, get a better handle on their fears and anxiety and get out of their own way, says Barbara Walton, past president of the International Coach Federation, the largest worldwide organization of professional coaches.

Coaching might sound like therapy, but it is not, says Walton.  "Therapy focuses on healing pain and dysfunction, most often arising from the past, which hamper emotional functioning in the present. Coaching is forward moving and future focused. It focuses on thriving. Therapy focuses on surviving," she says.

What is coaching and what can it do for you?
Coaching helps you be the best you can be, explains Mark Weinstein, founder of Peak Life Habits, an executive and personal coaching firm in Albuquerque, N.M. A coach offers feedback, insights and guidance from an outside vantage point.

Weinstein coached Bruce Malott.  Malott was struggling. He was 47, a partner in an accounting and consulting firm in New Mexico and seemingly successful. Yet, he was unhappy personally and professionally.

"I was going through a devastating divorce and having trouble focusing at the office," says Malott. He sought out the services of Weinstein who helped him to get back on track. Under his guidance, Malott began to make changes in his behavior, set priorities and communicate with his partners. The impact of coaching is difficult to measure in dollars, but I know it's made a big difference, Malott says.  "Most people know what needs to be done, but struggle with the execution. Coaching holds you accountable. With Mark's help we are way more productive than ever before," says Malott.

"People seek out coaches because there's something in their life they want and they don't have," says Weinstein.  "It could be a certain position in their career or a certain quality in a relationship. It could even be a certain level of fitness that they are always on the verge of hitting but somehow always missing the mark."  A coach will help you identify habits that are impeding your success as well as sidestep the obstacles that seem to get in the way of what you want.

Procrastination is one bad habit that commonly gets in the way. We have probably all used the expression "someday I'll do this" or "one day I'll do that."  Weinstein says he guides his coaching clients to make someday into now.   "We make a plan of action, even for something as simple as cleaning your desk. Instead of someday, we make a commitment in our conversation that by next Thursday, this will be done."

How to find the coach for you
Coaches come from many backgrounds -- psychology, business, education, law -- and specialize in everything from finance to personal relationships.  To find the right coach for your needs, Joy Leach, owner of Professional Resource Initiatives and life coach for over 20 years, recommends interviewing a few coaches before hiring one.

She recommends the following:

• Interview several coaches. There is generally no charge for an introductory session.
• Look for stylistic similarities and differences to help you determine your compatibility.
• Ask questions about their typical time frame of coaching, their specific coach training, their experience as a coach, the number of individuals, organizations and situations they worked with as well as the number of years in the field.
• Get referrals from previous clients or ask for examples of how the coach has helped other clients reach their goals.
• Find out what specific expertise or specialized skills the coach would bring to the relationship.

"You want to find someone you can build a partnership with, someone with whom you can easily relate," says Leach.  Currently there are no state licensing requirements for coaches.  "Coaching is like a lot of other professions, it's up to the individual or group hiring the coach to look into their credentials," says Daniel Martinage, executive director of International Coach Federation, whose organization credentials coaches and accredits coach training programs.  "Find out whether and where the coach received training and how many hours of experience they have coaching," suggests Martinage. "Take the time to find the right person for your needs. You want to be clear about what you're looking for and be sure the person you hire fits your bill."

Results of which were published in January 2001, concluded that "ordinary training typically increased productivity by 22%, while training combined with life coaching increased productivity by 88%"

If you want to get ahead get a hat, so goes the age old advice to ambitious employees keen to climb the corporate ladder. Today's urban warriors, however, ensure they stay at the front of the snapping pack by hiring a life coach.   A new report from the Work Foundation estimates that the self-esteem industry in Britain is now worth £15 billion a year, boosted by the increasing number of anxious workers seeking the advice of a burgeoning army of self help gurus, cosmetic surgeons, dieticians, fitness instructors and cosmetic consultants, all with the sole aim of making themselves feel better about who they are.

Andy Westwood, the report's author, said that it showed the public was waking up to something the biggest salary earners have known for years.  'The more you look into the self-esteem industry the more you realise people are trying to play catch up with the likes of chief executives who have long realised the importance of paying for things like leadership programmes,' Westwood said.

In recent years a number of life coaches have become household names. Cherie Blair's lifestyle guru, Carole Caplin, is now almost as famous as the Prime Minister's wife. Fiona Harrold, one of the Britain's leading life coaches, has built a lucrative media career out of dispensing advice while at the corporate end of the spectrum, the ideas of Tony Buzan, who has pioneered his 'mind mapping' techniques to encourage creative thinking has impressed the employees of companies such as IBM and Barclays.

As might be expected, Hollywood is keen on gurus, too. Actress Gwyneth Paltrow is said to rely heavily on celebrity acupuncturist Gary Trainer to keep her focused and Demi Moore is a devotee of Deepak Chopra, whose transcendental meditation techniques are reputed to bring inner calm.  It is hardly surprising, then, that the report argues the 'self-esteem industry' is becoming 'one of the UK's most important economic sectors - spanning education and training, much of the service sector and major manufacturing businesses.'

Westwood believes that as society has become increasingly individualised and the world of work has simultaneously become more risky, people feel less secure, something which impacts on their self esteem. In addition, the nature of work has changed, increasing the demand for employees with high self-esteem.  'In a service sector economy businesses are looking for people with confidence, people who can embody the sorts of services they are trying to flog, whether it's health clubs or whatever,' Westwood said.

His report argues that 'if we add together those sectors that seem to be explicitly and solely about boosting our feelings of self-worth, then the figure quickly exceeds £15 billion per year in the UK alone.'   Anecdotal evidence corroborates Westwood's argument. A google search for self-esteem gurus reveals more than 1.5 million hits. Chatshow queen Oprah Winfrey described boosting people's self esteem as 'the most important issue facing society today.'

A recent analysis of the Yellow Pages directory shows that since 1992 the entries for self improvement services have rapidly increased. The analysis, by Dr Tim Leunig of the London School of Economics, found that there had been a 5,000 per cent increase in aromatherapists and a 1,445 per cent increase in dieticians.   'It seems that we have moved not only beyond the necessities of life but almost beyond goods themselves, so the areas of growth are things that make us feel better about ourselves,' Leunig suggested.

Even the government, it seems, is keen to make the nation's workers feel better about themselves. Last year it recommended employment programmes for lone parents designed to 'excite the imagination, to build self-esteem and mutual self help'.   The report, commissioned by the Cosmetic Toiletry & Perfumery Association, notes the concerns of sceptics such as the sociologist Frank Furedi who claims 'self-esteem is the "cultural myth of our times" and a dangerous temptation for governments and individuals alike. He sees much of the increasing obsession with the "self" as a profoundly modern phenomenon.'

But Yvonne Riley, a life coach who specialises in helping mothers who have taken time off to have children get back into work, is adamant gurus do have a role to play. For Riley, a typical session with a client lasts 45 minutes during which they discuss their goals and how they can achieve them. At the next session the conversation focuses on what steps the client has taken to put their ideas into practice. By regularly reporting back to her, Riley argues, clients are held to account and are therefore more likely to turn their ideas into action.   'Sometimes people need someone independent to talk to. It's the wine bar theory,' Riley said. 'How many people have droned on to a barman who doesn't judge them? When making major life decisions sometimes you can't talk to a loved one. You might say something that would hurt them; there's too much at stake.

Results issued in a press release dates 16^th May 2002;

- 80% of executives say they thing they would benefit from coaching at work and dismiss the suggestion that coaching is just another fad

- Virtually all managers (96%) think coaching should be available to every employee, regardless of seniority

- 85% of managers say the main value of coaching is in enhancing team morale

- 80% of managers value coaching for generating responsibility on the part of the learner

Research took place at the HRD Show in London in April 2002, respondents all HR professionals.

86% held very positive views on coaching
86% of respondents' organisations have offered coaching at one time or another and coaching is CURRENTLY taking place in over one third (36%) of organisations
Respondents feel that coaching achieves the following desired outcomes:
A positive impact on other aspects of participants' lives, both at work and outside the workplace (96%)
A feeling amongst participants of ownership of the issues and the outcomes (85%)
Evidence of learning being put into practice (71%)
Readily-quantifiable and positive results, often demonstrated on the company's "bottom-line" over the long term (62%)
TOP 4 words associated with COACHING (from a given list) were:
Supportive (98%), Empowering (82%), Holistic (80%), Inspirational (77%)
TOP 3 words associated with TRAINING (from the same given list) were:
Prescriptive (71%), Rigid (70%), Intimidating (50%)